J

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

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not me literally only coming on here to make a rant post anyway im so lonely i just want to go back to campus already bc i havent talked to anyone but my parents in three weeks and my parents keep getting mad at me anytime im not like completely compliant and happy around them and they never call me jacob and they dont even listen when i tell them things and my mom just complains about herself and is angry all the time and literally no one talks to me unless im in a class with them or they need something from me like i just want to go back to school so i can fucking talk to someone at least ill be working soon and will interact with people there but god im like one bad thing away from just ending it like my only friend was my roommate but now that we dont live together they barely talk to me idk why im so easy for everyone to just forget like i think that i have friends and then as soon as im no longer convient no one stays idk i just want to be someones first choice actually i dont even need that i just wish people would even like semi-regularly remember that i exist idk im just so sad and so many of my friends graduated so ill never see them again and next year ill graduate and then ill have no one and all my goals are academic and idk what to do after that but whatever i hate that im making a rant tag post i literally hope no one sees this i just need to talk bc i went from seeing a therapist twice a week for three months to literally having no one to talk to like i say maybe 10 sentences a day and i dont get any texts or notifs of any kind im not trying to over exagerate i literally have no one that talks to me and it makes me feel unloved and so uncared for and just like. worthless whats wrong with me that makes everyone fucking leave and forget me i try so hard to be a good friend idk sorry for this

six years ago today i attempted suicide. usually i make a post about how i’m grateful that it didn’t work, but in all honest this time i’m wishing i would have tried harder. i didn’t think i’d ever be feeling like that scared. lonely, insecure kid who ate lunch by themself again. i didn’t think i would be feeling so pathetic and unsure again. i didn’t think i’d be crying every day again. i didn’t think the future would become this unimaginable, unrecognizable place again. but i’m alive, and this year that in itself has to be enough. i’m alive.

dont get me wrong i am v grateful for everyone in my life who supports and loves me i am just not feeling it rn i wish a lot of things were different and i am very lonely but heres to being alive suicide mention jacob speaks